Monday, August 28, 2006

How to prep for that annoying pre-election deposition

Last week Bob Corker "received a subpoena" to testify on October 18th. He'll face allegations that under Corker the Mayor's watch, Wal-Mart developers were granted permission to build a construction road without City Council approval through a popular protected wetlands area. One of Corker's businesses closed on the land sale for Wal-Mart's development for a cool $4.66 million just weeks after the easement was granted by the Corker administration. Undue influence by then-Mayor Corker for personal gain?
Corker's lawyers have tried to seal court documents and keep a lid publicly on the whole squirrely land deal. This action in and of itself is an interesting tact to take as Corker tries to win the support of voters who are skeptical of politicians in general, and more so of those who try to keep the truth away from the public's reach.
Understanding the magnitude of this ever important deposition to Corker's political future, I offer these following sources/tips to help Corker with his performance on the witness stand.

One website offering reasonable deposition tips can be found at:
This site has a section entitled "SURVIVING A DEPOSITION" in which the deposed is advised on "How To Think For A Deposition", "How To Be Calm For A Deposition", and "How To Dress For A Deposition." The site advises the deposed to expect lawyers to be "either nice or nasty." Funny, I can't recall ever meeting a "nice" lawyer.
There is one tip on this site that Corker must have already taken to heart - "do not give anything away actively, passively or interactively, by what you do, what you say or how you act."

Another website offers an entirely different slant on how to survive a deposition:
This site suggest use of five major families of witchcraft or magic spells for use in court cases...they are:
beef tongue spells
freezer spells
dressing clothes and carrying a mojo bag in court
little john to chew spells
honey jar spells; and
recital of psalms for court cases

Come October 18th, let's all wish Corker the best as he takes the proverbial witness stand and tells the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help him God.