Saturday, March 25, 2006

I hate myself already

This election cycle I've decided to campaign against Mike Kopp.
Not me personally, but a Republican goob named Mike Kopp running for the State Senate in Colorado.
I'm not going to campaign against Mike Kopp because I care what goes on in Colorado. I have never been to Colorado. I can't snow ski worth a damn - bunny slopes scare the shit out of me; ski suits make me feel fatter than I already am; and it just seems too damn cold to visit.
But thanks to a blog comment posted by idava, I was made aware that Mike Kopp is a right wing nut running for office. Apparently Kopp's candidacy is part of strategy by the GOP to take back the Colorado legislature.
As dear Miss Pickett in D.C. (my landlord way back when) was fond of saying - "we'll just have none of that now, will we?"
I don't normally disclose strategy but I figure it would do no harm since the race is thousands of miles away from here.
So here goes.
Strategy step 1) I will indentity the Democratic opponent to Mike Kopp.
Strategy step 2) I will contribute an amount equal to the cost of doing one piece of direct mail to a single voter in Colorado.
Strategy step 3) I will offer to the Democratic candidate a suggestion to use my name in a testmonial format in the direct mail piece to be sent to the voter of their choosing ("I can only afford to underwrite the cost of one mail piece, so choose well" I will say).
Strategy step 4) The message I will draft and offer for my testimonial will be something along the lines of "I'm Mike Kopp, and I ask you not to vote for Mike Kopp. Why? Because I know Mike Kopp is a right wing nut case, and even Mike Kopp doesn't like that fact. So please vote for the other guy. The preceding message was paid for by Mike Kopp."
That's pretty much it.
Try it yourself. Google your name is see if you too are a right wing nut job running for something somewhere, and then get involved.
Who said one individual can't make a difference in politics anymore?

3 Comments:

Blogger Bill Hobbs said...

Colorado was in much better shape when the Republicans controlled the state Senate. It had a booming economy, lower taxes and a surplus. Vote for Kopp!

8:45 AM  
Blogger Rob said...

LOL.

Too funny!

I'm not sure what happens if I Google myself. Is that something I can do in the privacy of my own home or do I need an audience?

Now if I can just get both Hobbs and Mike Kopp(Tennessee Version 1.0) to agree on something, say a plan to introduce a new math/chess program to Tennessee children, I can feel like I have done something good for the world.

1:50 PM  
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12:52 PM  

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